HELP CHILDREN FEEL VALUABLE: THREE LESSONS IN STONES

"Thank you for helping me feel like a shiny stone instead of a plain old worthless rock," said a third-grade boy in Tucson, Arizona.An effect and reaction like that is what I hope for when I offer a polished stone to children in classrooms - adults in audiences too - after we discuss the message of The Twelve Gifts of Birth. If you're familiar with the book, you know that the story, illustrations, and photographs help children of all ages recognize their inner gifts and feel valuable.To anchor the message and help make the intangible gifts of inner strength, beauty, courage, compassion, hope, joy, talent, imagination, reverence, wisdom, love and faith feel more touchable and real, I use a bowl of stones in a show and tell way. You can do this too in a one-on-one way or with any size group.When speaking with groups, a clear fish bowl is an ideal container. Fill it at least halfway with medium-sized polished stones of all varieties. On top of all the shiny and colorful stones, place a regular, rough rock, the kind you might pick up from a street, sidewalk, or hiking trail. For a one-on-one talk, a handful of polished stones and one rough rock is sufficient.The bowl of stones does a good job of grabbing attention and stirring curiosity in groups.  I present the bowl after the reading, discussion, and the question, "Who feels valuable in this moment?" All (or nearly all) hands shoot up.That opens the door for THE THREE LESSONS IN POLISHED STONES.The plain rough rock is used to acknowledge that we all sometimes feel like that: plain, ordinary, maybe even worthless. The truth is that we are all like the polished stones. Like them we've been tumbled. For them it was in a machine. For us it is in life.  The keepsake polished stone is meant to remind us that no matter what we look like on the surface or what we feel like, we have strength, beauty, and other valuable qualities within us always.The second lesson the stones offer is the beauty of all their various colors, shapes, and sizes. We too come in various colors, shapes, and sizes. No matter. Like the stones, in that way too, we are all valuable.The third lesson comes from taking a very close look at one or any number of the stones. Upon close examination, we see little cracks, nicks, scratches. While they are indeed beautiful, strong, and valuable, they are not perfect. Neither are we.And those are three lessons for all of us to remember for ourselves and to share with the children in our lives.Parents, teachers, counselors, all readers who may use this activity in any way, I'd love to hear from you.I'm guessing that a collection of colorful stones can carry other meaningful messages. What do you think of the three I described? What other life lessons do you see?Toward dignity for all,Charlene