GETTING OUT THE BITTERNESS: LESSONS FROM EGGPLANT AND AN AGING UNCLE

Salted Eggplant

Eggplant.

It can be so delicious, layered in Eggplant Parmesan, Moussaka, and Ratatouille and all by itself, grilled, baked, or fried.

Or, it can be bitter.

But, that bitterness can be removed, quite easily, too. While there are variations on how that's best done, the key seems to be salt. Salt draws the bitterness out. Some say to slice, salt, and press the eggplant. Others recommend soaking it in a salty brine.

We can experience ourselves, our lives, as delicious.

And we can know bitterness.

Bitterness increases in eggplants as they age and get stale. Perhaps, in a way, that is what sometimes happens to us.

We had an uncle in our family who grew more and more bitter as he aged. One day, when my husband and I visited that uncle, although he was eighty years old, he seemed younger than the last time we had seen him. Something had changed. He looked happy and healthy, too. When we commented about how good he looked, he said, "I got rid of the bitterness."

"How did you do that?" I asked. 

"I'm not sure," he said. "It's just gone." But then he added, "Some things that I blamed others for... well, let's just say, I had a part in everything that happened in my life. I've forgiven others. I've forgiven myself."

Whenever I notice bitterness growing in me, I think of that uncle. And I think of eggplant.

I don't want bitterness to grow in me. Bitterness hurts.

If only a briny bath in Epsom Salt would simply draw the bitterness out. Hey, maybe that would help. Not as easily as it does with eggplant. But perhaps a salty bath could be an anchoring action for my intention to let the bitterness go.

What is your recipe for getting out the bitterness?

Here are some things to consider:

First, intend to release all the bitterness seeds: the stale anger, hurts, and resentments.

Express the bitterness. Talk about it with a friend, counselor, or clergy member. Write about it in a free-flow way and then throw the paper away.

Forgive others and yourself.

Consider how millions of people on the plant are hurting too. Yes, human life is challenging. It is also beautiful and we can experience it as delicious.

Tune in to your needs. Ask: What might I need? What need is being unmet? Give yourself compassionate self care.

Start fresh. Speak the truth. Be authentic. Expressing how we feel in the present moment helps us to stay fresh.

May we experience deliciousness!