Tag Archive | building self-worth

ABOUT BEAUTY, FROM A RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST

Tree in a meadow

“If you look closely at a tree you’ll notice its knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully.”
~ Matthew Fox

 


I have often used polished stones as a way to demonstrate this message about beauty and imperfection.

When I give polished stones away at school presentations and workshops, I invite everyone to look closely and notice all the little nicks and scratches on the stones. Yes, they are strong and beautiful – the agates, the ambers, the amethysts, the apache tears, and the aquamarines, to name just a few. And, they are not perfect. Like us.

Another take-away from the stones is this: Colorful polished stones in circle
the stones come in all different colors,
shapes, and sizes. Like us.
And they are all beautiful. Like us.

Today and every day, let’s focus on the good and the beautiful in ourselves, others, and the world.

From a recovering perfectionist…

With love and compassion,
Charlene

WELCOME TO THE WORLD PROJECT IS LAUNCHED

Welcome to the World coverThe Twelve Gifts of Birth Foundation has launched a “conscious parenting” project that involves giving Welcome to the World keepsake folders to hospitals and birthing centers to pass on to moms of new babies.

The Welcome to the World keepsake is designed to encourage parents to nurture the inner strength, compassion, hope, joy and other natural gifts and talents in their children.

The folder includes a congratulatory letter, a Twelve Gifts Birth Certificate, and a Ways to Nurture the Gifts in Your Child mini poster with 60 simple yet powerful ways to cultivate self worth and positive character traits in children.

Both the birth certificate and mini poster Ways to Nurture posterare ideal for framing and featuring in scrapbooks.

Signed copies of The Twelve Gifts of Birth book are also given to the babies born on the launch date at each participating hospital. The project further includes a method through which participating hospitals can receive on-going donations from The Twelve Gifts of Birth Foundation.

The first institution to receive the Welcome to the World keepsakes is Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women & Babies in Orlando, Florida.

For more information about Welcome to the World and how to obtain the keepsakes, please visit www.thetwelvegiftsofbirthfoundation.com

Suggested ways to nurture The Twelve Gifts in children can be found at www.thetwelvegiftsofbirth.com

Launched with much love for all the little ones!

WHAT’S BEAUTY, NANA?

WHAT'S BEAUTY?Both of my four-year old grandchildren, Alexis and Anthony, recently asked, “What’s beauty, Nana?” It was after hearing the chorus of the song, I See Beauty.

I see beauty, all around me
Inside you and be
I see beauty.

I found it tricky to answer. What would you say?

It’s interesting that they asked “What is beauty?” because they will often say “That is beautiful” about many things, such as the sky, trees, flowers, rainbows… the natural world. Already a girly girl, Alexis also comments on pink clothing, shoes, and princess items as “beautiful.”

But since we’ve been playing the song now and then, I think that are starting to understand the essence of beauty itself.
The rest of the lyrics are helping:

I see beauty all around
From the sky down to the ground
in the flowers in the trees
Inside you and me.

I see beauty every day
In hugs and smiles that come my way
In everything we say and do
It flows through me and you.

Yes, The Twelve Gifts of Birth Music is a help. So is the book, Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids. Check them both out for the children in your life.

We can also watch for opportunities to comment and say things like, “Ah-ha. I see beauty right now in the way you are… being kind, helping your sister, caring about your friend, sharing your toy, being truthful, apologizing, forgiving…

As the song goes, let’s aim to see beauty everywhere, especially inside you and me.

HOPE FOR ALL AGES AND STAGES OF LIFE

 A week ago, Suffield High School Principal Donna Hayward in Suffield, Connecticut delivered a commencement address that was inspired by The Twelve Gifts of Birth.  I’m sharing it here because I believe Ms. Hayward’s message of hope and courage is for all of us. Thank you, Donna, for permission to post your speech along with your photo. I hope to meet you someday, new friend!  And thank you, dear reader. As always, I would love to hear your comments.  

Donna HaywardClass of 2014, you are just minutes from receiving your high school diploma. Your parents are wondering how you got here so fast, as it seems such a short time ago that you were born. Just a few years ago, you took your first steps, spoke your first words, got on the school bus kindergarten bound, learned to ride a bike. This is a natural time for your parents to reflect on the last 18 or so years and for us, your teachers, to reflect on whatever role we have played in your upbringing. As it turns out, teaching and parenting are closely related.

When my daughter was born, we received the usual tidal wave of gifts – blankets, cute little outfits, and baby gear of all kinds. One gift, in particular, though stood out as it arrived without a note or tag from the sender to indicate who had given it. One day, it simply arrived in my mailbox – its message clear – but to this day I don’t know who sent it. It was a book entitled, The Twelve Gifts of Birth, by Charlene Costanzo and it details the gifts or qualities bestowed upon each of you upon your birth as a human. “Royal dignity was yours from the day you were born,” the book begins – and on that day and on a day such as this all parents and teachers hope their children know these gifts. My role today is to remind you that you do all have them and to implore you to use them consciously and with purpose from this day forward.

The first gift is Hope and each of you were born with it. Continue reading

I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

  kids for blog“I love you when you’re happy. I love you when your sad. I love your when your silly. I love you when your mad. I love you when your grumpy. I love you when your glad. I love you all the time. I love you just the way you are.”

                                            ~ C. C.      

Who is C. C.? Me. These are the words of a song I made up to sing to my grandchildren. When I do, they always smile or giggle and take in the loving like little flowers opening to the sun. And they ask for “more.” More ways that they can “be” and be completely loved. Like when they are scared, surprised, goofy, stinky, burpy…etc. They are three years old, by the way; so, in addition to being loved unconditionally, they love silliness.

Today I realized that I could sing this song to myself.

Sometimes I need to sing or, at least, say words like this to me. I need to truly let myself know that I am lovable and loved just the way I am, in the midst of anger, frustration, exasperation, sadness, feeling not good enough…

Do you love yourself when you’re feeling frazzled? Angry? Sad? Worried? All the time, no matter what? Or do you tend to love yourself only when you’re feeling great?

I think we can all benefit every time we pause and give ourselves a dose of unconditional love… when we love ourselves the way we love a small child… the way I love my twin grandchildren.

You can’t hear me but right now I’m singing this song to you.

May we love ourselves through thick and thin and all the ups and downs today.

May we aim to do this everyday.  

“WE STRENGTH”

We StrengthI met Peggy on the grounds of The Franciscan Renewal Center in Scottsdale, Arizona. Also known as “The Casa,” the Center is considered by many people to be a sacred place that offers strength from the site itself as well as through its programs and retreats.

After strolling along the meditation trails and the path of the labyrinth, Peggy and I sat in the shade of a ramada. There, we got to talking about forms of strength, such as stamina, fortitude, determination, and willpower.

Then we opened up and shared stories about times we needed to call upon strength.

“This is the form of strength I most appreciate,” said Peggy. “We Strength.

We Strength…what’s that?” I asked.

“Every time I allow myself to be vulnerable and completely honest with someone I trust, I am enormously strengthened,” said Peggy. “And it seems that the other person is filled with strength also. It’s a ‘we’ kind of strength. We Strength.

Feeling empowered and expansive myself as well as connected with Peggy in shared strength, I understood Peggy’s perspective. 

We Strength. Seemingly so unlike robustness, toughness, hardiness, resoluteness, firmness, spunk, grit, persistence, endurance, force, ruggedness, and many other words that name an aspect of strength. But a form of true strength indeed.

LIMITING BELIEFS: NOT REALLY FUNNY


Release Limiting BeliefsI find it fun and somewhat funny to read what was (obviously now) limiting thinking in the past.

After chuckling about them, limiting beliefs from the past can help us realize that they are not funny when we are being limited by them. Here are a few examples:

 

“Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.” ~ Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872


“This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.” ~ a Western Union internal memo, 1876


“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” ~ Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943


“There is no reason why anyone would want a home computer.” ~ Ken Olson, President, Chairman, and Founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977


“It will be years — not in my time — before a woman will become Prime Minister.” ~ Margaret Thatcher, 1974


As we all know, germs are real, telephones and computers are everywhere, and Margaret Thatcher was able to release her limiting thinking and become Prime Minister.  


Let’s uncover and release our own limiting beliefs, such as “I’m not enough,” and see what we become.